What's the meaning of this check?
You trying to get me to cheat?
No...
I'm just the middleman.
You trying to play fast and loose with me, or get me in trouble?
Do you think you're going to get ahead of me...
...if I take a fall?
Look at this!
I'm the only Golden Leg!
You can't even dream about that.
No...I don't.
I just want a little kick-back. Please don't tell anybody.
You're trash!
I'm sorry. I'll see you later.
Golden Leg! Golden Leg...
Golden Leg...
Hung, you've been a star player for twenty years.
Since Fung missed the penalty kick and lost his golden leg,
you've never had any rivals. Now how do you feel about....
Oh, no! Don't talk to me about that!
Hung, your Evil Team
has won the gold for five straight years.
What's the secret?
Secret? The secret is having the greatest coach in soccer.
So you're confident you'll win the gold again?
What are you, a rookie reporter? I don't think that question even needs asking.
Excuse me...
Good morning, Hung!
Golden Leg!
Good morning, Hung!
Good morning!
Hung, your shoe is dirty.
I'll help you clean it up.
It's fine. I can take care of it.
Hung, I'll take your car over.
Hung, you promised to offer a coaching job to me.
I'm ready.
I've got the confidence to train a team as good as the Evil Team.
Do you think you can still be a coach?
Forget it.
But you said...
Get real.
Don't you see? You're a cripple now.
Do you think you can still depend on this tattoo?
Hung...
I've served you for twenty years.
How can you say something like that?
I'm not in the mood for this today. Things change.
You looked great when you were young.
You see, now you just look like a dog.
Forget it. Get lost.
I've already taken care of you for twenty years.
You know, that's a lot of money.
Hung!
You're so vain!
If you hadn't given me...
...that bribery payoff twenty years ago,
I wouldn't be crippled now.
What? Are you losing your temper? Why don't you shout louder?
Hey! Did all you guys hear that?
There're thousands of reporters outside. Would you like me to let them come in?
You know,
I kept you here to keep your mouth shut.
But do you think anyone would believe...
...a handicapped beggar like you now?
- You! - Don't be angry.
If you want to blame somebody, blame yourself.
You should blame your greediness.
Forget it.
I'll tell you one more thing.
I was the one who arranged that "accident" with your leg.
Damn it!
That's no way to kick.
Pardon?
I said...
...that's no way to kick.
So how'd you do it then?
There has to be a fusion of strength from the waist to the foot.
What do you mean?
My idol, Bruce Lee,
has already elaborated on it.
If you want to learn more,
you can take two Kung Fu lessons from me.
Learn Kung Fu from you?
You just look like a cleaner.
Cleaning is just my job.
I'm really a post-graduate student.
Post-graduate student?
Focusing on how to
effectively teach Shaolin Kung Fu.
This is my name card.
Shaolin Orthodox School Mighty Steel Leg.
Look! It's really strong.
Fighting is not my style.
I'm a well-educated man.
You're wrong.
Look at that girl.
I know she's sexy, so what?
- I'm an educated... - No...
Watch this!
If she had learned Shaolin Kung Fu, Weight Vest,
she would not have fallen like that.
You see!
So Shaolin Kung Fu is great!
Hey! Do you want to learn Kung Fu?
You're crazy!
Look at the woman over there.
If she had studied Shaolin Kung Fu, Iron Hand,
parking would be much easier.
So Kung Fu is wonderful!
Excuse me! Do you want to learn...
No...Here, get lost!
This coin isn't just yours. I should get a share.
Don't try to ruin our relationship!
Look at that!
What's wrong?
You've already spent a whole week trying to trim this tree.
You're fired. Get lost!
- I'm sorry... - Go away!
If he had studied Shaolin Kung Fu, Nine Fences of the Recluse,
he would not be in trouble!
Nine Fences of the Recluse sounds like it came from Hua Shan.
Don't you know every kind of Kung Fu originally came from Shaolin?
Kung Fu is absolutely great for people of all ages.
Brutality is just the wrong impression of Kung Fu.
Kung Fu is an art,
a kind of indomitable spirit.
I'm looking for a good method...
...to package Shaolin Kung Fu...
...to help people understand...
...the true meaning of it.
Enough, already!
I'm not finished yet.
You're already finished.
I still have to make an appointment with you as my client.
You're done!
Please seize this opportunity!
The lame can also learn Kung Fu.
What are you talking about? Who's lame?
You're not qualified to even talk soccer with me.
I'm sorry!
Yes, I'm lame.
It's none of your business.
What? Being lame?
Why you stinking...!
What the...?
Moron! Did you think that would scare me?
Hey, do you still want the garbage? If you don't, I'll call the other one.
I'm coming over.
Hurry up!
Did you think that would scare me? Huh? Idiot...
Hey, hey, hey, get out of here!
Ah, excuse me! Could you give me a hand putting this over there?
No problem!
Wow! What a leg!
- Twenty cents! - You're kidding! Just twenty cents?
There are some cups and plates inside. Won't you give me ten cents more?
No more!
Go on, move it over there.
Mui, would you please give me ten steamed bread!
Using Tai Chi Kung Fu to make steamed bread is a striking idea.
The steamed bread looks sweet and tasty.
I'm so impressed...
...by her strong arms.
You...
What are you doing?
Singing is the perfect way...
for me to express my true feelings about you.
You're so beautiful!
I'm not beautiful. Don't laugh at me!
Look at this! This steamed bread is incredible!
Tastes wonderful!
Your Tai Chi Kung Fu, Shifting Bodies and Transposing Shadows...
It's a firm but gentle Kung Fu,Shove a Thousand Cattle with Four Tales.
So!
That's why the steamed bread is so tender yet firm.
They're fifty cents each. Two steamed bread, that's one dollar.
- That much! - Yes, that much
It may be expensive, but it's worth it.
I only have fifty cents right now.
Would you mind if I paid you back two days later?
No...
Well! You're a typical Kung Fu master, speaking with grace and ease.
You know, we have something in common. I'm also a Shaolin master.
Would you allow me a face-saving proposition?
No.
Okay!
This is a pair of precious sneakers. The original price was two dollars.
Now, I'll give you a discount on the price...
Is my steamed bread ready?
Coming! Just a minute!
Did that guy pay for the steamed bread?
He did.
What's this dirty stuff? Throw it away!
First Big Brother!
It's okay!
Keep working. Clean it up, please!
Are you sick, First Big Brother?
I've got a headache. I got drunk last night.
Anyway, what do you want?
I wanted to let you know I've been awakened.
- Really? You've been awakened? - I've been awakened.
I finally understand.
If I want to teach Shaolin Kung Fu to the world,
I need to package it into a new and modern form.
What kind of packaging?
Singing!
You won't believe what I saw today.
- I saw a steamed bread shop... - Stop bothering me!
But what would you think if I combined Shaolin Kung Fu...
...with singing and dancing?
Don't even think about it!
How can you dismiss it like that if you never even try it?
Stop thinking about it!
I've already told you you need to make a living in the real world.
There's a vacancy for a toilet cleaner. It would be good for you...
...to take it rather than to keep living in a dream.
If we don't have any dreams in life, we're no better than salted fish.
Yeah, well look at you, you're a real salted fish, not even a pair of shoes!
How can you talk about dreams?
Now just hold on a minute!
The fire in my heart isn't put out that easily!
Why not? Just blow it out!
But it'll just be lit up again!
Enough, already!
We both have our own lives.
Please don't bother me!
I need to work to support my family.
You mean you are willing to give up your Iron Head?
Are you forgetting how much effort you put into it?
You're wrong!
I've never given it up...
...not even for a day!
Fei!
Boss!
Dammit!
The dancers quit the show already.
What are you doing hanging around here doing nothing about it?
I'm not! I have a great idea.
What's that?
Uh, combining Shaolin Kung Fu with singing and dancing.
What kind of Shaolin Kung Fu?
Look at this!
There's no way that's gonna sell.
He's good enough.
No way! And what about you?
Me?
Dammit!
What about your Iron Head?
If you don't do a good job, I'll kill you tomorrow.
OK.
First Big Brother, thank you!
Shaolin Kung Fu is great!
Really great!
Shaolin Kung Fu is wonderful!
Wonderful!
I'm Iron Head.
Iron Head.
You're Mighty Steel Leg.
I'm Mighty Steel Leg.
Be serious!
Shaolin Kung Fu is great!
Really great!
Shaolin Kung Fu is great!
Really great!
Shaolin Kung Fu is wonderful!
Wonderful!
I'm Mighty Steel Leg!
Mighty Steel Leg!
He's Iron Head!
Ahh, I'm gonna die!
What are you singing about? You sound like you're howling.
The lyrics are pathetic.
I can't understand a thing you're saying.
That's right. Who wrote this garbage?
- Yeah, who did it? - Who did?
Creative work is highly subjective,
but I must respond to your criticism.
The singing is just the beginning of the show,
the climax is the performance of Mighty Steel Leg and Iron Head!
Iron Head?
I told you already that you wrote awful lyrics.
I'm not Iron Head. He's...
Iron Head?
- I said... - Iron Head?
Mighty Steel Leg!
He's Mighty Steel Leg!
You're still saying Mighty Steel Leg?
I oughta kill you!
Mighty Steel Leg!
I'm the real Mighty Steel Leg!
Iron Head?
Don't you understand Chinese? He's the real...
Iron Head?
You're so stubborn!
Iron...
Do you want start a fight?
Thank you so much!
Happy hour is going fast.
It's time for us to say goodbye right now.
Let's listen to some music!
You guys are crazy!
Let's see if you can take some more!
Thank you!
Why you stinking...!
What on earth?
Let's go! There's nothing interesting here!
Do you still want to fight with us?
I promised my Shaolin master I wouldn't use Kung Fu to fight with anyone.
This guy is crazy.
But all you guys should apologize!
Apologize?
It isn't my problem. It's all your fault!
Don't move! You said you wouldn't use Kung Fu to hit anyone!
I didn't come here to fight. I came to play soccer.
That's it, I'm gonna kick your...
Hey, get up, quit goofing around!
What's he...?
Stop, please! I'm so sorry!
Do you have any money on you?
Yeah.
Thirty cents.
Hey, are you taking my money?
Yes, I am. Did you learn Tong Long Fist?
I did.
Don't insult Shaolin Kung Fu anymore!
Would you let me
take a look at your leg?
I'm not really in the mood. But go ahead.
Amazing! It's the real thing, pure Kung Fu.
A great killer slim leg.
It's Shaolin Mighty Steel Leg!
Could it be possible to use Kung Fu to play soccer?
Are you serious?
Yes, of course!
That's it!
That's a great idea, use Kung Fu to play soccer.
Why didn't I ever think of that?
Aren't you that cripple?
I'm not just a cripple,
I'm the ex-soccer player, Golden Leg.
Now, I'm a soccer coach.
That's great! You can teach me how to play soccer.
Now, hold on.
No! You told me I could use Kung Fu to play soccer.
But I need some time to think this over!
I don't have time to think anymore!
It's afternoon already!
Time doesn't wait for anyone!
But we have so much to prepare!
I'm ready! What do I need?
At least a pair of shoes!
Do you have any money to get your sneakers back?
No. But...
I threw them away.
No!
Your sneakers were broken. They're well worn.
- Yes, they were broken. But I... - Go home!
My boss will shout at you if she comes back and sees you.
You can't have the broken ones back.
Those have been fixed. Do you want to have them?
First Big Brother, what are you doing?
First Big Brother, are you okay?
I'm fine.
What do you want?
I finally got a great idea
for sharing Shaolin Kung Fu.
It's playing soccer!
Please let me go!
You've already gotten me into trouble. I got fired.
Now, I have to clean rest rooms to pay for my boss's loss.
I've come here to help you.
No! Absolutely not!
If you bother me anymore,
my whole family will commit suicide in front of you.
Committing suicide isn't a good way to solve any problems.
Be brave!
Don't be stupid!
I'm just a loser!
Please don't come here anymore!
If you still want to form a soccer team, you can ask the other Brothers.
Please, don't bother me!
I beg you!
Iron Head.
Good morning, Fourth Big Brother!
Good morning, Sing!
How are you?
Let me introduce a great guy to you! He's...
Nice to meet you!
This is Fung.
I know, Fung is famous in the stock exchange market.
You see! He has that great I.T. look.
Fung is a soccer coach.
Soccer coach!
Of course, everyone knows that Fung is the most...
...famous figure in the soccer world.
Do you use your legs to play soccer?
You see! I'm right. Actually, do you have any jobs?
I want you to join my soccer team.
Play soccer?
I haven't had a job for six months. How can you ask me to play soccer?
If you can use your Empty Hand...
...to be the goalkeeper...
What's Empty Hand? That was years ago.
You know, I even forgot when our Master died.
Please listen to me!
We're going to sign up for the National Soccer Tournament.
The prize is one million dollars.
Really? So, I see you're the sharp one.
Look at that! All dressed up and everything.
Many years ago, our Master ordered us to share Shaolin Kung Fu.
Now, you guys get this great idea of using Shaolin Kung Fu...
...to play soccer!?!
Look here!
This is the group picture of our Master and Brothers.
I always keep it UNDER my pillow.
You should know what I mean.
Great! Let's sit down to talk about what you mean.
I'll call you if I've got time. Oh, and please keep a job for me.
I really don't have time to talk to you.
Some clients are waiting for me, I need to keep my eyes on the stock market.
You know, each of my trades are hundreds of thousands of dollars apiece.
Hello! What's the price right now?
My driver is on leave today.
And I just loaned my car to my friend,
and I left my wallet in my office.
I'm sorry! I don't have time to have lunch with you guys.
I'm really busy!
Go away!
Third Big Brother, think about it!
If you can use Iron Shirt...
...to be the back...
What's Iron Shirt?
Look around! The sky is full of planes.
The streets are full of computers.
It's the 21st century. Stop living in your dream world!
Well, I think it's a good idea, combining Kung Fu with soccer.
He's right! And the prize is a huge amount of money.
For heaven's sake! You think I'm...
I'm trading hundreds of thousands of dollars a day.
There's absolutely no way I'm giving up my trading to play soccer with you guys.
I'm sorry for being so direct, you know...
But it's impossible to give up trading and sign up to play soccer with you lame-o's.
Forgive me. I'm just an honest guy.
Finally, it's also impossible for me to win any damn soccer game.
Truly, the probability of winning is 0%.
Probabi...
Probability!
Okay...
See this? It's always heads or tails.
You'll never get the middle.
So the probability is 0%.
Let me try!
Get lost!
I've got an appointment with my client at the coffee shop.
I'm very busy!
We could take you out for noodles at the same shop.
Morons! I'm dealing with hundreds of thousands of dollars!
How can I go have noodles with you guys?
He's my Sixth Small Brother, Weight Vest.
This is the famous soccer coach, Fung.
Fung, how are you?
Uh, what Vest?
Weight Vest.
Nice to meet you, Mr. Vest.
Fifth Big Brother, are you thinking about playing soccer?
Yes.
If you can use Shaolin Kung Fu Weight Vest to be the forward with me,
Our attack should be flawless.
- Do you have confidence in this? - Of course.
Great! Are there any diet pills around here?
It's useless.
Since this virus got into my head, there's no way for me to lose any weight.
Since becoming like this, I can't even walk quickly,
let alone be able to use Shaolin Kung Fu Weight Vest.
Yeah, you're a little overweight, but that's not so important.
Forget it!
See, this is a picture of how I used to look!
Since becoming like this,
I can't even get a date with a girl.
You don't understand how it is.
I do. I can't date girls either!
Really?
Why? Too much gossip about your girls in newspapers and magazines?
What kind of newspapers and magazines?
Oh! I'm sorry!
Since I've had this disease, I can't control myself.
I'm sorry. Please leave me alone!
Small Brother!
You should have confidence! You can do it!
Everyone calls me Lazy Pig now...
You know, you're the only one who calls me Small Brother.
Thank you!
Lazy Pig, help me get that package of red tissue rolls.
The red one!
Playing soccer?
Yes, Second Big Brother!
If you can use Hooking Leg to be the back,
I believe...
Your defense will be flawless!
Absolutely!
So you think I can still use Hooking Leg?
Sure, you just need some practice.
If you trust yourself, you will get your Hooking Leg back.
Really?
I just saw you cleaning sewers recently.
Why did you get a second job washing dishes?
Why?
Why are you asking me that? I don't understand, either.
Why didn't I have a rich father, Lee Ka Sing?
Why am I going bald, even though I'm so handsome?
You guys aren't going bald, but you're so ugly.
Why did the other guys get to go to school when they were young?
While I was forced to study Shaolin Kung Fu,
and then become a cleaner, washing dishes
and cleaning out sewers?
Calm down! Second Big Brother.
If you're brave enough, you can control your fate.
Calm down? If I wasn't so calm,
I'd kill you guys!
Calm down?
Why are you just sitting here?
Can't you see how bad it smells in here?
If it still stinks when I come back, you'll be cleaning up with your tongue!
Your apartment is great!
It's well furnished.
I can't believe you work as the cleaner downstairs,
but live in the Penthouse on the 59th floor.
You've got good taste!
This kind of apartment is so popular
I can't even get one.
The exhaust is okay.
Just a little bit noisy.
Would you mind if I move in here?
Forget it!
Your Brothers aren't that great.
We can find others to join our team.
It was all my fault. I couldn't persuade them.
It's okay.
You know, I'm so glad that you trust me.
Thank you.
I'm going to train you guys in the shortest time possible
...to be professional soccer players.
So you need to be serious and mutually support each other.
I understand!
Let's go!
Please listen to me!
What would you do if you were in my position?
Yes, of course.
I've got to call. Hold on a second.
The ball is coming back!
So! Finally willing to come back, are you?
-You made us wait for an hour -Wait for an hour!
What are you doing?
Playing soccer!
The ball is over there!
You, come here!
Let me see you kick the ball from here.
But the ball is over there.
Yes, the ball is over there!
You can't even get the ball. How are you going to kick it from here?
Listen up, there are four basic skills to playing soccer:
Pass, stop, hold and kick.
- I understand! - Don't move!
Okay. Let's start from the beginning.
Yours.
Hold it!
Watch out!
Concentrate!
Come on! Move!
That's it...do more fakes.
That's better. That looks like a good fake.
Do more fakes.
Fung, why can't I participate in the training?
Look, even though your leg's so strong,
you haven't got any control.
What happens if you... kick the ball up into the sky...
and it hits a plane? Could you pay for it?
- No. - So...
Sixth Small Brother! I'm borrowing your eggs!
What?
If you can control the egg freely in the air, you can play soccer.
- No problem! - Okay!
You see? It's not that easy.
Sixth Small Brother, what are you doing!
No, no! My egg!
Look, I'll get you another one later!
No way!
Give it back to me!
Concentrate...
My egg!
OK! Yes!
Yes! OK!
Yours!
Right...
Good...
Yes! Go!
Keep your eye on the ball! Watch out!
How can you let him kick it like that?
Kick it!
Come on!
That's incredible!
He could play all by himself.
No! It's about teamwork. You can't play soccer with just yourself.
The game will be 30 minutes. There are no breaks.
We'll follow the international rules.
I'm the referee. Do you have any questions?
Of course not. You know how grateful we are that Golden Leg is the referee
and is leading a young soccer team to play against us.
We're just happy to be here!
Say hi to Master Fung!
-Hello Master Fung!
Okay...
Well, this guy has some issues with your team's players.
Now, this game is a show of our soccer playing skills.
We'll use it to resolve this conflict.
Ah, we see! They look very intent.
From their tidy uniforms and friendly faces,
I can feel deeply their sincerity and the strength of their spirit.
Thank you!
It's okay, nothing to worry about.
I'm an auto mechanic.
I use this crescent wrench to screw things down.
You understand, don't you?
Yes, of course.
Ah, as I already explained,
Because I'm an auto mechanic,
that's the reason why I've got a hammer.
Okay, okay. Your team's style...
...is infamous in the amateur soccer world.
I understand.
Well, it's just an undeserved reputation.
Looks like the sky's getting cloudy...
Okay. Anyway, take care of yourselves.
Shake hands, please!
Pass it!
Help!
Third Big Brother!
Calling military headquarters, we just suffered an overwhelming attack.
Send for reinforcements!
Stand up.
Stand up!
Get up quickly!
Come on, get up!
What are you doing?
Coach, they're lawless.
Why don't you stop them?
I'm the referee. I'm not supposed to stop them.
What's the meaning of this? Do you want us to sacrifice ourselves?
Alright, you! Out!
Are you nuts?
This is a test.
If you guys can't pass it,
there's no way you're playing soccer again!
We're just playing soccer. We're not fighting a battle.
Real soccer games are battles.
I surrender!
If you had the guts to ask us to play,
why do you want to surrender?
Are you trying to mess with me?
I can't take it anymore. My bones feel broken.
I'm a pitiful creature!
Please let me go see a doctor!
Put it on your head!
Look at you. You look like a dog.
Don't you have any self-respect?
I don't want to see your face again.
Put it on your head quickly and go see your doctor.
Yes, I'm a dog. I don't have any self-respect.
First Big Brother is coming back.
What are you talking about?
I can feel their Kung Fu coming back.
- Do we have any weapons left? - Not anymore!
Okay then, Final Attack!
Oh, for crying out loud! I missed it!
Help!
Thank you, Brother! You made us get our Kung Fu back.
Thank you for coming back!
Thank you!
Stop with the groveling.
I'm the one who needs to thank all of you guys.
You're going to make me filthy stinkin' rich! Thank you!
We're the losers. But please give us the opportunity...
...to join your team!
Please!
Please, give us a chance.
Well, that was a pretty good sized explosion.
The Evil Team will be the world champions for sure.
Yes?
Who is it?
The cripple?
-Why not? -I'm sorry.
Look, I played professional soccer for years,
-you want to stop me? -The person in charge isn't here right now.
Golden Leg!
What are you doing?
- Hung! - Hung, heh...
Okay...
Hung, my team wants to sign up for the soccer tournament!
It's an open competition, everyone has the right to sign up.
You're wrong.
I'm the chairman.
I have the right to decide who can sign up.
- Do you understand? - Yes.
What's the name of your team?
Come over here!
This is Hung.
Hung!
Get a load of this soccer team!
I'm dying to watch them play!
What's the name again?
This is Shaolin...
OK...
Hurry and sign them up. I really want to watch these guys.
If you'd like, I'll even pay your application fee.
Thank you!
No problem! You, my lame friend, are like a brother to me.
Ah, look at that. My shoe is dirty again.
White gets dirty easily.
So...
I'll help you clean it up!
I'm good at cleaning. Let me do it!
This is a job for me!
Hey! Let me do it!
What a pack of idiots
Hi!
What are you doing?
Who are you?
Where are we going?
Why are you so quiet? I need to go home.
Hey, we've been waiting a long time for you.
I'm sorry. Please, give me just a few minutes.
Try this one.
No. I just want to see the quality of it.
Touch it.
I'll get it dirty.
- No problem. Go ahead. - No...
- Touch it. - No.
- How's that? - It's so smooth.
- I promise I'll buy one for you. - I touched it already. That's enough.
Tomorrow, I'm going to start playing in the soccer tournament.
Really?
I'm going to become a famous star player.
But if you hadn't helped me to repair these...
I'd never have been able to play.
You know, you're so important to me.
Tell me whatever you want.
I'll be able to pay for it very soon.
If you become rich and famous, please buy me some sneakers.
No problem!
But you should have more confidence.
I mean, really, you're a beautiful girl, you're good at Kung Fu.
You know, you're perfect.
You shouldn't let your hair hang down so it covers your face like that.
Come on.
- Come on. Look at me. - No...
Look at me!
You're so beautiful!
Really?
Yes, of course.
Was it a fly?
Yes. But I didn't get it.
Did you get it that time?
I did.
I'm sorry. I got your hand all dirty.
No problem.
You know, you're a real beautiful girl.
Don't you know that?
Yes. I do.
Thank you! Thanks so much!
Don't you forget it!
Hey, where are you going?
I let you bring a girl in here because you promised me you'd clean the store.
Hurry up! If you don't finish the job on time, I'll get in trouble.
Go on home. I'll call you later.
Okay?
Remember! You should have confidence. You're the best.
That's a nice shirt.
I like your socks, too.
- Let's switch clothes. - Good idea...
Come on, guys! Haven't you ever done this before?
Just pretend it's training as usual.
There'll be hundreds of reporters and spectators outside.
You guys need to keep smiling...
...and let the reporters take pictures with us.
You also need to say hi and thank the fans for their support.
Thank you!
Thanks for your support!
Thank you!
They're just the cleaners.
Cleaners are part of the audience too.
Thank you!
Shut up!
This auditorium is so small and empty. You said...
This is just the first round.
So we need to play well and get into the finals.
- Great! Get into the finals! - Shut up!
Shaolin Team?
Look at this guy!
Look at that guy!
What's wrong?
No smoking here?
What just happened?
That's impossible! Just an illusion!
What are you doing?
It's okay, just an illusion.
I think we should show off our real power.
Great!
What's wrong?
Please don't play like that! I really want to play soccer!
Hung, call for you.
I'm not scared. It's just an illusion.
What? Forty to nothing? Is this a joke?
Yeah!
Goal! Yes! Iron Head!
Yes, we use Shaolin Kung Fu to play soccer.
So Kung Fu is great, wonderful!
- We lie low... - And...
I want to thank my parents and my Shaolin master.
Even though they've already passed away.
I also want to thank my good friend, Mui.
Mui...How are you?
Did you have dinner already?
Hello! Can I help you?
I want...
Say no more. Let me take care of you!
Would you mind showing us your Kung Fu?
Yes, of course. Sixth Small Brother?
1, 2, 3!
Awesome!
Can you show us something else?
- Sure! - Big Brother, one more please.
Hey hey, take it easy!
My Brothers,
Today we say goodbye to our old sneakers.
Don't throw stuff around here!
Sorry...
Mui?
What's up?
I can't believe the way you look.
Really?
I know what you're trying to do.
What? Don't be getting any ideas.
You can't frighten me.
I'm not afraid of ghosts!
What do you mean?
Uh, nothing. This is for you.
I think...
I think I've changed a bit.
You'd better believe it.
You've got confidence now.
I want to tell you something.
What's that?
I like you!
I like you, too!
Is this love?
You...
You're kidding, right?
No. I'm serious.
Absolutely not. This isn't love.
We're friends, forever...
Don't you think we're good together?
Sure! We're fine.
So, you'll come to see me often?
If your shoes get broken, I'll help you fix them again.
No, thanks. If my shoes get broken, I'll just throw them away.
We should look forward to the future.
I won't wear broken shoes again.
Don't be like this.
What's wrong? Why are you crying?
Don't do this.
I understand.
Goodbye!
Hey, come on over!
- Mui, you're looking nice today. - Cheers!
After we win this game, we'll be going to the finals.
Going to the finals!
But we can't underestimate our opponent!
Underestimate our opponent!
We're the more powerful team.
We won't let you get into the finals.
Holy cow! How'd they do that?
Must be special effects?
Good morning, Hung!
Good morning!
Come on over here and sit down!
You're a lucky man,
Very lucky to have such a great team.
Thank you.
Looks like Iron Head and Iron Shirt have even become quite popular.
It's been amusing watching your guys use Kung Fu to play soccer
and get all the way to the finals.
You've done a good job.
Hurry up, don't waste our time!
Give up the finals and join my Evil Team!
It's not a dirty bribe.
You can get the money before you sign on with me.
This is a lot of money.
I could probably break my left leg and retire on this.
Why not! We're brothers.
Thank you.
But I don't think I can accept this.
What? Do you think I'm trying to intimidate you?
I think your team has great potential. Maybe we could join together.
Don't get upset so easily. Think about your future.
Forget our rivalry. Okay?
Hung, I wasn't thinking of our rivalry.
I know it was all my fault. I can't blame anyone else.
You're lying!
I know you too well. You're too greedy!
You're right!
I am greedy. My team is greedy, too.
But we don't have an insatiable greed for money.
We have an insatiable greed for the championship.
See you on the soccer field.
Stop! Wait just a minute! Thank you!
Mui!
She died already!
How come?
I killed her!
What!
Mui is the master-hand of Tai Chi.
She must not be treated unjustly!
What do you want?
Revenge!
Don't be silly! I'm just joking!
She's still alive. She just doesn't work here anymore.
Why?
You know, my little store is well-known for sweet steamed bread.
But now the steamed bread...
she makes has become salty and bitter.
She's been ruining my business.
I didn't have another choice.
Salty and bitter?
Yes.
What's your name? Can I help?
No, thanks.
Come on, we've got to go!
Boss, how many goals do you expect to score today?
Scoring goals isn't the only way to win.
I've got a great plan for winning today.
Impossible.
Those American drugs are absolutely incredible!
And with the referees, linesmen,
soccer association, soccer federation and soccer committee...
all in my pocket.
How can they fight against me?
No problem!
- Great! - Way to go!
Wonderful!
Throw-in?
He did that on purpose!
How can you call that a throw-in?
Hung, are you fighting, or playing soccer?
Yes, we are. So what?
I oughta break all your legs and turn all of you into cripples.
Cripples! Cripples!
How are you gonna fight against me?
I'm sorry I have to leave the game.
It's okay. You're just leaving us physically,
but your spirit will stay in our hearts forever.
Move over! It's my turn.
Sixth Small Brother!
What's going on? Why don't you stop them?
It's only halftime, and all your guys are badly injured!
How are you going to play the second half?
Go home! There's no way you guys can play the second half!
There's nothing interesting going on,
Maybe I should go down there and dance to give them a show.
No! It's not your show. It's mine!
Damn you!
Break it up!
You guys must not want to play anymore!
Who did that?
Who saw that?
Hit me in the face, if you're brave enough!
Rub gently.
I can't believe they're even more out of control than I am.
I can't believe that...
my reputation has been ruined.
I figured they'd try to do something to us,
but even I can't believe how cruel they've been.
The Evil Team isn't that great.
They must have taken drugs or some kind of injection.
Call the police!
Look,
We've got to try our best to keep going.
We'll win in the end!
My house is on fire, I've gotta run!
I'm sorry. My mom is giving birth prematurely right now.
I need to go home and take care of her.
Can't you ask her to wait until the end of the game?
You can't give up now!
They're not playing soccer. They're killing us!
I'm begging you. Please don't leave us!
I'm begging you back.
Please let me go!
Calm down!
Yes, he's right!
We have to keep going.
Now, we only have eight players left.
If one more player gets injured,
we'll forfeit.
We have to try our best to defend against their killer kick.
Why should WE? If YOU defend one killer kick, then I'll play defense for three
What are you talking about?
Calm down!
Shut up!
I'm not sure if I can defend against it.
Shaolin Lu Han Array!
Array?
Can't stand against a shot like that!
- Are you okay? - I'm fine!
Chun!
- Tin? - Yes.
I've been keeping a secret from you for many years,
but I really wanted to tell you right now.
Chun, I love you!
Do you think we're being too cruel?
- I don't think so. - Really?
So we can be harsher!
Brothers! Go!
What the?
Be careful!
Watch out!
Give me a break!
Hurry and get up! Quit acting like you're hurt!
Yeah, you're a genius! I'm just fine.
The game's almost over! Use the final attack!
Final attack?
Yes! That's it. Now you guys...
...can't even stall for time.
Game over!
Shaolin Team.
You've only got seven players left.
If you don't have any substitute players,
I'll stop the game...
and announce that the game's over.
Any substitute players?
- Congratulations. - Thank you.
I'm ready!
I'm the substitute player.
I'm the goalkeeper.
What are you making out like E.T. for?
I didn't know how to cut my hair, so I thought it'd be easier to shave it.
What for?
I want to help you.
How can you help us?
Go back to Mars,
Earth is too dangerous.
I really want to help you.
Trust me! Let me try!
- No way! - Look,
your shoes are broken.
Put these on.
The OTHER side.
Go!
Alright!
Watch out!
What happened?
What just happened?
Boss, watch out?
Damn it!
Boss!
Shaolin Team wins the championship.
Evil Team gets permanent suspension for drug use.
Coach Hung gets 5 year prison sentence.
Wait! Stop the bus!